Let's Catch Up

I don’t think I’ve had a generic, chatty catch up with you all. Sure, you’ll have my latest monthly look backs, but they only really cover what I got up to in any given month, but they don’t give a huge amount of depth into where I’m at, how I’m feeling or what is going on in life in general. 

Given that we’re nearing the end of the first quarter, it feels like good timing for a light hearted, chatty post, and general life catch up.

You may have read in my recent post that we’re traveling to Tennessee in America in 11 weeks’ time to get married. Or at least I hope we are. It was announced in the news today that to try and prevent the spread of COVID-19 travel from mainland Europe to the United States has been suspended. At present the UK isn’t included, and travel is still fine, but I have to admit, it’s making me very nervous.

Whilst (at time of writing) there are no confirmed cases in my home City of Norwich. In fact, I think we’re the only county that has no confirmed cases yet… finally, the poor transport links from Norfolk to the rest of the country have come in useful! Although I doubt it’ll stay that way, and it’s probably a matter of time before it reaches Norwich and Norfolk as well.

I do feel a little guilty that our trip is my primary concern when it comes to COVID-19, especially when you consider that people have died, lost loved ones or experienced genuine worry because of it. That being said, it’s our wedding. We’ve invested a huge amount of money and time into it, that we might not get back. Plus let’s face it, no one wants to have their wedding to be cancelled, especially because of something that is completely out of their control.

At the moment I’ve decided to try not to worry about it. There’s literally nothing we can do about it, although I have reached out to various people, such as the wedding venue and photographer to see where we stand if travel is suspended from the UK too. Fortunately, we sorted our travel insurance ages ago, and the policy we went for has fairly wide cover, which to be fair you’d expect form a pair of insurance brokers!

A more positive topic to focus on at the moment is that I am now only a few weeks away from my probationary period at work being over. Changing jobs was probably the best thing I did in 2019, and I don’t think I quite realised what an impact my old job was making on me. I guess you desensitise to it after a while, but I was absolutely miserable, constantly feeling on edge and anxious, and thanks to a couple of people in the office my confidence in myself was at an all-time low.

Since moving I’ve managed to re-build my confidence, slowly chip away at my self-doubt and form some new friendships. Although I’ve moved to a comparatively more senior position, the work itself is very similar to what I did before. The environment and the approach by management however, couldn’t be more different. From being generally supportive, to encouraging us to look after our health and wellbeing, this company is far more people focused, and you can really feel it.

Having a positive experience during my working day has had a notable impact on my life outside of the office too. I’m getting back to my happy, upbeat self. I feel as though I spent a lot of last year running on auto-pilot and was just existing. So far this year I feel excited for things to come and feel very happy in myself. That’s not to say I don’t have the odd bad day, of course I do, but I feel like I’m on an upward incline at the moment, and things are getting better and better.

When I caught up with Maria recently she even commented that I seemed a lot more myself and a lot more cheerful that I had been in the later months of 2019. Mike has said similar, so clearly other people are seeing the difference too. As a consequence I’m being less tolerant to anything negative or confrontational, it’s not something I have or want to make space for in my life, and therefore I’m not going to.

There’s been a couple of people who have pushed my boundaries a little recently, and I like to think I’ve been firm but fair with them. Whereas before I’d have probably just taken it, I’ve started to say no, and communicate that I am not comfortable or happy with something. Some have taken it on board, others haven’t and to be honest probably won’t. Even so, I feel like I’m taking more control over my interaction I have with people and setting and maintaining my boundaries in a constructive way, which can only be a good thing.

I’m finally in a place where I feel happy and am actually excited for things. I’m getting married in a few months (one way or another) Spring is coming, and I’m excited to see what is in store for the rest of the year

Anyway I think I’ve rambled on enough for the time being, but there’s a little glimpse of where I’m at and life in general. I hope you enjoyed reading it, because it was actually quite enjoyable to write!